Vainglorius
by Talifiney
Summary: Last Part x Nick struggles with finally getting their happy ending. x NickGreg
1. Where Everything Goes Wrong

Vainglorius  
by Tali

summary: An angsty flashback of an ex-lovers wedding.  
notes: This is the first part out of five. I know it switches from He to I in the middle. Deal with it. XP  
pairing: Nick/Greg  
spoilers: 1 - 5, future!fic.

---

He sat there, and watched him dance. Dance with his beautiful new bride. He was smiling, and looked so happy. He was glowing, and he, in all the time they were together, had never looked like that. That hit him hard, and he took another sip. He was going to be so plastered. It didn't help that he was getting pity looks.It had come out by accident a few days after they had broken up and that wasn't what he needed at the time. Everything had come crashing down seemingly all at once. He had hit the bottom, and he was just starting to get better when he dropped _this_ on him. His shoulders shook, and he realized he was laughing. The irony in this had just hit him, and his reaction was to laugh.

You know, normally, the roles were reversed. This was the first time in a _long_ time that he was the one who had his heart broken. That sounded so pathetic, especially because he knew in the beginning, infact he was one who said, that nothing would come of this. Friends with benefits type deal. But in the end it was much more then that. At least he thought, he hoped it was like that. Taking another sip, he knew how wrong he had been. It hadn't really meant that much to him he guessed. _Then why string me a long for more then a year?_

Tears threatened to overflow, so he got up and went into the hallway. He saw Catherine standing there, against a wall.

"I hate weddings," she murmured. He smiled, took a deep breath and went back inside. He had to give his congratulations, and call it a night. Running a hand through his hair, he saw the two of them talking to her parents. With a determined stride, and a fake grin plastered on he said

"Hey."

"Hey. I'd like to introduce you to Sadies parents, George and DeLulah." He must of made small talk, because they were all still talking and smiling at him before they were pulled away. Sadie was soon called away too, so it left the two men alone, staring at each other. "Glad you could make it." He smiled and suddenly, his knees were weakening.

"Um, here's your present," I said as I handed him a blank white envelope. Heh, if I hadn't been part of it, I would of thought this was some sort of discreet drug deal. As he took the envelope, our hands brushed, it was almost as if I was letting go. Turning away, I heard him exhale and call out my name softly.

I kept walking.

I wanted to turn around, I really did. But I had come this far, and I was going to ruin His. Big. Night. Keeping my head up, I felt eyes watching me. Daring me to snap. Catherine wasn't in the hallway anymore. Running a hand through my hair, I decided I should leave. I was halfway out the door, when he called my name. I hated to admit it but that voice still did things to me.

"I'm sorry," he said and it looked like he meant it. I entertained that thought in my head for a moment before saying

"What for?"

He said my name again, long and wistful and god, I wanted him right then and there.

"Don't be sorry." I whispered. Smiling, an actual one this time, I added "I'll be waiting when the marriage falls apart." I stepped out the door and heard him say one more time "Greg...!"

I kept walking.

---

Yeah. So that was Greg's point of view (bet you thought it was the other way around) , the next is Nick's, the next Greg etc.


	2. Where We Take 3 Steps Forward, 2 Back

notes: This part was gonna come out sooner, but I just finished the third and didn't want to post this before I had.

-

_"I'll be waiting when the marriage falls apart."_

Those words rang in his head as he stared at the door in front of him. He'd been staring for quite awhile and had made several unsuccessful attempts to try and reach for the doorknob. Sighing, he wondered what would happen if he went through that door. It shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is. It's a big deal because his life will change dramatically either way. If he walks through the door, of if he doesn't. Looking at his watch he realizes that shifts gonna start soon, and he has to make a decision. When had his life come to this? All these years, and it comes down to a simple door. He feels like punching it, but then he would just have a sore hand and that wouldn't really help. He wanted to go through the door, but that was complicated. It would be simpler to walk away, but he doesn't want to do that. So he's divided, stuck and feels like he doesn't know which way is up. He hates it and god, he wishes it would end. But it won't. Not til he goes through the door. This is getting repetitive, his trail of thought. Wandering around in never-ending circles.

Getting up, he took a deep breath and speed-dialed.

"Hello" He cursed softly, because he didn't think anyone would pick up.

"It's over. I'm sorry, I didn't think it would end like this." He hung up, not waiting for the reply. One call down, one to go. Nobody answered, and he was directed to voicemail. "Hey, it's me. It fell apart." Nothing left to do but walk through that door, that door labeled **Divorce Lawyer**.

-

Nick walked out to the warm Nevada afternoon and smiled, a real one. He felt bad on one hand, but he figured it would be all worth it in the end. Sadie, his soon to be ex-wife was surprised yet had noticed a change in Nick's behavior so knew something was up. The only tearful question she asked was"An affair" Nick had shaken his head.

"It's not your fault. I'm just still not over somebody. I thought I was and I'm not, so I'm sorry." It was the truth and he hoped this wouldn't be some nasty divorce. Greg hadn't returned his call yet, and he wasn't sure what to make of that. Maybe he was overly hopeful, because it had been five years since they had broken up. And god, that would be terrible, leaving his wife for somebody who doesn't want him, or has moved on. But then again, being with Sadie would of been a lie, because he knew he wanted Greg, not her. His hindsight was 20/20, he just wished he had gotten in checked before he got into this mess.

He had taken time off work, with a knowing glance for Catherine, completely understanding. So, as he drove home, he thought of lying at home on the couch with a beer as he had been doing for the past few days. He was so immersed in himself that he as he pulled onto his street, he didn't realize their was a car in front of his house. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and noticed the car was a blue jetta. Greg had a blue jetta. He sighed, everything was reminding him of Greg more or less these days. Running a hand through his hair, he looked up and saw that it was in fact Greg, leaning against his car, with his sunglasses Nick had given him.

"Hey" Nick said uncertainly, pinching himself to make sure this wasn't some sort of dream.

"Hey" Greg affirmed with a nod. "Listen, I was meaning to call you back but my phone started to get all weird, so I hope you don't mind that I just kind of showed up like this." Greg was rushing, like he did when he was nervous, like he did on their first official date.

Nick smiled, and Greg started to melt. He honestly didn't know why he had brought himself here, and was just about to leave when Nick had pulled up.

"G, come on in. I kinda, wanted to talk." He motioned to the door, and there was that awkward moment before Greg said

"Okay, sure. Don't have a few hours til shift so..."

Nick exhaled and suddenly felt better, and realized he had been holding his breath.


	3. Where We Learn Happiness Is A Warm Gun

notes: Wow, slow updating. I'm not writing anymore, so it's not surprising. I am determined to finish it, only five more parts to go. _Italics are flashbacks, _you know the drill.

This is angsty, and may warrant a kleenex!warning. I don't think so, but it depends. Might stray slightly out of character, but it should find itself near the end.

**xxx**

He sighed, head buried in his hands. Exhausted, and for once he didn't care how he looked. He knew that this wasn't the answer, nor the way to do it but this was what felt good right now. Something strong was in his glass, and it burned all the way down. His eyes were red and raw, and he hated it.

He doesn't **do** this sort of thing.

He doesn't get hung up over breakups, he doesn't **cry**.

Crying is a sign of weakness, and he isn't weak. He's gotten this far, and there is no time for crying. He doesn't have to prove anything anymore, but old habits, old scars still run deep. Time may not always heal old wounds.

Going on and reminiscing about the past won't help him either. It won't help him because now, one of the only high points in his life is part of the past, it's gone. He would like to think it isn't his fault, but he know this isn't true. At least that's what it seems like now.

**xxx**

_"Stop smiling like that!" _

_Greg arched an eyebrow, and swung his arms around Nick's waist. _

_"Why should I?" Greg then proceeded to snake his arms up to play with the hair Nick had finally begun to grow out again. Nick rolled his eyes and laughed. _

_"Nevermind. I'm just...I don't know. You have different sorts of smiles you know?"_

_"Mmm, I do?" _

_"Yes, and that one right there, is never good." _

_Greg started to laugh too. "Really? I was gonna say I was acting pretty innocent."_

_"Oh yeah?"_

_"Yeah." Greg stuck his tongue out._

_"We'll have to fix that." They then collapsed on to the floor in a fit of giggles. Seriously, teen girly giggles._

**xxx **

Happy is a weird word, because he feels sort of happy but yet that doesn't seem possible because nobody should feel happy in the situation he's in. Maybe it's the alcohol going to his head, but he feels happy. Which is totally contradictory to the reason why he got drunk in the first place, totally contradictory to his earlier train of thought. He was almost gonna cry earlier, but he doesn't cry. You don't cry when you're happy do you? Unless it's tears of joy, but that doesn't really work. Happiness, joy and warm, nauseatingly fuzzy things weren't gonna cut it today.

Maybe he's happy because he remembers. Maybe he's happy that it wasn't a waste, this year. Maybe he's happy because in some ways he's free. He loves, loved **liked** Nick but maybe subconsciously he felt trapped. He shakes his head because no, that doesn't make sense.

Ever since the explosion he's been more in tune with himself, understanding himself a little better. He's grown and changed in a lot of ways, and maybe he's still growing and changing. He's always been restless by nature, never really settling. Nick came a long and now he wonders if he stayed with him a year because he was compromising. Maybe he stayed for a comfort issue, maybe there was a dark voice in the back of his head who said that maybe this could work. He was really confused, and wonders if breaking up was the best thing that happened to him.

No, that's ludicrous. He must be spending to much time was the sulfuric acid.

Nick was so different then Greg, but most of the time that worked, most of the time it made sense.

Well right now he's dissecting their relationship and it doesn't make that. Sense.

Maybe it was a lie, and maybe he's just saying maybe to much and doubting himself just a little bit more.

He's insecure, off balance.

He doesn't **do **insecure. He doesn't **do** off balance. Apparently he doesn't do a lot of things.

**xxx**

_"I don't understand." Greg looked up at Nick, thoroughly confused as his voice began to break._

_"I'm sorry, I can't do this anymore. It's not working anymore." Nick couldn't even look at him anymore, which made it worse. His voice was barely above a whisper, the texan accent slipping through. That was a sign. A bad sign. He wasn't kidding, he wasn't joking._

_"Why? We were making it work Nick! It was working! You said that..you said that " _

_Greg's eyes started to sting as he curled his hands into fists. It had been a long shift, exhausting. A quadruple murder, a class A sicko had gotten away from them, outsmarted them. Nick had taken it hard, the youngest was the only boy, raped. It must of struck chords with him. Maybe that's why? Maybe they'd go to bed and when they woke up in the morning everything would be better and they would have hours of hot makeup sex?_

_"I say a lot of things Greg."_

_There was a steely note in his voice, and it really hit him. This was happening. He'd had dreams, _nightmares _about this happening. He couldn't believe it. There was no way this way happening. _

_"Why Nick. Tell me why." Nick didn't do anything, just continued to pack up his stuff. "LOOK AT ME!" Greg exploded, clamping angrily onto Nick's arm and forcefully spinning him around. "I want to know! Tell me! You have to tell me! There's got to be a reason!" Greg broke down sobbing, muttering things like that hysterically. Nick just stood there stone faced. "Come on! We spent all this time and you said you loved me!" He fell to the floor on his knees, shoulders shaking._

_Finally, he had calmed down. Nick still hadn't explained anything, but he had stayed and let him cry it all out. Let him punch him in desperation, never once saying anything. They sat on the bed they had shared for almost a year, Greg leaning on Nick's shoulder, still sniffling. This was so unlike him, so unlike Nick. Greg didn't break this easily, Nick was more caring and consoling. Nothing seemed right. _

_Nick leaned down and kissed the top of his head, murmuring something like "I'm sorry." With that, he picked up his begs, went out the bedroom, crossed into the living room and out the front door, out of his life, out of **theirs.**_


	4. Where We Learn to Say Sorry

Part Four In Which We Learn How to Say Sorry

summary: Resolving Part Two, Greg and Nick finally get to what we would like to think of as a happy ending.

notes: First of all, ahh! There's some fluff in here. Un beta'd, because the rough quality is supposed to make it seem more like a recollection as opposed to a detailed retelling. Yeah. ;

And I'm sorry it's been FOREVER, but I've had a major case of writers block and Nick and Greg have just not co-operated. I'm nervous about this because I can't write getting-together-fic, and the characterization is a bit off I'm afraid.

Final part left.

**xxx**

Nick stepped aside, and waited for Greg to come inside. This was like what he was talking about. Everybody has their own door, literal or not. In Nick's case, it had been literal. He had gone to the divorce lawyer. In this case the door was also literal. Greg had to make his decision. Leaning his head against the door, he could see there was a moment of hesitation that flickered across Greg's face before he stepped inside. Nick relaxed slightly at the sight of Greg lying on the couch like he used to.

"How are you? I mean, you sounded pretty bad on the phone and you kind of look like shit."

"Gee, thanks Greg. No, but you're right. It's been a hard couple of days."

"Anything I can do to help? Something with Sadie?"

"Do you remember my wedding?"

A dark look flashed across Greg's face as he muttered something.

"Sorry, stupid question. I mean, do you remember what you said to me?"

Greg shifted so he was sitting, looked down at the ground studying the Texas carpet on the floor before evening out his emotions and looked at Nick. He bit his lip, studying Nick's face before managing,

"I'll be waiting when the marriage falls apart." It was barely a whisper. At that moment, Greg looked so vulnerable and so small. He looked sad, but was desperately trying to mask it. Nick could only nod, before sitting beside him on the edge of the couch.

"Come here." Nick said after a moment, as Greg started to sniffle. Greg rested his head on Nick's chest, before closing his eyes and letting a few tears escape. Nick started to rock Greg back and forth, murmuring something reasurring. Working up the courage, Nick pressed a light kiss on the top of Greg's head. "You know Greg," he whispered, "I don't like this flat hair. I just got used to the taste of gel." A small laugh escaped, but the tears presisted. Nick sighed, and wondered how he ever could have caused this.

**xxx**

A few hours later, Nick woke up by the sound of is doorbell. Rubbing his eye, he realized that he had fallen asleep on his couch, with Greg now resting in his lap. Gently picking up Greg's head, Nick got up and placed Greg's head back onto the couch. Sighing, he started towards the door.

Unlocking the door, he looked back as Greg began to stir.

"Hello?" he asked as he opened the door.

Standing there was Sadie. She had the most amazing timing. "Sadie." he mangaged, not sure exactly what to do.

"Sadie?" There's alarm in Greg's voice, causing Nick to turn.

Greg is now sitting up on the couch, wiping sleep from his eyes.

Sadie presses her lips together and shoves her way past Nick.

"Is this her? Well, I guess him.." she laughed sarcastically, bitter evident in her thick texas accent. Nick doesn't answer, but closes the door firmly. He exhales and looks between Sadie and Greg, not quite sure what to do or say.

Greg licked his lips and asked, "What do you mean?"

Her eyes flashed as she sat down in a chair opposite the couch from Greg. This had been her home for more than five years, so she managed to make herself somewhat comfortable. As comfortable as she could be at least.

"I asked him why he wanted the divorce. As far as I knew, we were happy. I thought maybe an affair, but Nick here assured me it wasn't. He said he wasn't over somebody and he couldn't keep lying to himself anymore. So I assume, you would be this person..am I right?" She trailed off accusingly and watched Nick shove his hands in his pockets before nodding slowly.

"Yeah," he exhaled and all the pressure that had built up in his chest disappeared. It felt to good to actually admit it, to have it out there in the open.

Greg's jaw dropped as he blinked twice obviously trying to register everything. He ran a hand through his hair, unsure.

"G--" Nick started before shaking his head. "You know what? It was stupid of me. I'm sorry. Seriously. I should have known. It was stupid. You were so drunk at the wedding too..I should have known you didn't mean it.."

Sadie crossed her arms and cleared her throat to remind everybody of her presence. Slowly Greg rose off the couch and made his way so he was standing in front of Nick. He turned to Sadie and murmured some sort of apology before a shaking hand reached out to trace the outline of Nick's jawline but Nick caught his hand.

"They're shaking. When did this start up?"

Sure enough, Greg's hands were shaking. He looked at them somewhat surprised and managed to whisper, "Just now."

Sadie started laughing which startled the two of them enough to spring back.

"Ignore her," Nick murmured before taking one of Greg's hands and kissing it. "I'm so sorry Greg."

Greg opened his mouth to say 'I know' but Nick silenced him by kissing him lightly.

Sadie made a grunt of disgust and stormed out of the room, and just before she exited she spited out hatefully, "I never even loved you anyways."

There wasn't anymore talking for quite awhile.


	5. Where We Learn How to Let Go

I started this basically a year ago, and now it is finished. Here is the final part. Not really an epilogue, but..

Vainglorius 5. Aka, Where We Learn How Exactly to Let Go

notes: Unbeta'd. Written in one sitting to flow with the rest of them. Honestly, it is the end. It is Nick/Greg in the end, I promise. Angst, with a somewhat fluffy ending. I can't do happy endings, so that's why it's sorta angsty. Bittersweet. We'll go with that.

Thank you for reading this if you've stuck it out thus far. :)

x

The day has come, and for the first time since this whole thing started, he's nervous. He doesn't know why, because he has gone this far, but it just seems unreal. Also, there is that door again. A door he had never planned on seeing again. The lawyer had always come to him after that first visit. This knotted feeling in his stomach doesn't make sense because once he does this, it's **over**. But actually divorcing Sadie? It's hard. He loved her. He honestly did, otherwise he never would have let it get this far. But the fact that makes him sicker is that throughout this all, Greg has been holding his hand. The person who caused all of this. He had thanked Greg, one night after they woken up together tangled in his bed. Greg had just smiled, as if he knew what for. He thought he was being thanked for coming back to him, for loving him, for still doing so.

But that wasn't why.

He thanked Greg because Greg gave him Sadie. It sounds really backwards, but he loved Sadie. Maybe not as much as Greg, but he did. He loved her smile and her little quirks and he had loved being married and domestic. It had made him happy, being with Sadie.

Once he walked through the door, he was signing that away forever.

It's insane.

He loves Sadie yet he can never be with her because he loves Greg too. As much as he and Sadie just _fit_, it almost felt like cheating. Like it was a little too perfect and they were both overcompensating for loves lost. He's been given a second chance which was all he ever wanted. All he ever thought about in the dark recesses of his mind when Sadie was out with friends or had a long day at work.

He knows he can't have both and he knows he made his choice. Or he will as soon as he walks through the door.

The pause. It's getting to him. How come up until this point this has never bothered him, up until right now when it's actually happening and he can't afford to waffle. He asked Greg not to come because he can't stand the look Sadie gives him.

Greg makes him happy, and his heart says that Greg is -it-. But still. There is that doubt, and he's struggling. It didn't work with Greg once. Why would this time be any different? It could still have worked with Sadie. He had broken up with her suddenly on a rash day that had been influenced by too many long shifts and not enough liquor in the house. They could have grown old together.

It stings.

He knows he's making the right decision, that all this is gonna be worth it.

That door opens, and it's time. Closing his eyes, he pushes himself forward through the doorway and knows what he is going to see. Sadie, looking as pretty and glamorous as ever. (And spiteful, but we won't get into that.) He's going to see Sadie's lawyer, some old guy who only took her case because she was pretty and does a good damsel-in-distress impersonation. He's going to see the judge, and his lawyer, somebody his dad insisted he have that had moved his practice from Dallas to here a few years back.

He's going to see a paper, a ballpoint pen beside it. He's going to see Sadie's curvy signature, and a spot for his own.

He clears his throat as the pleasantries are exchanged. Sadie stares at him, then at the pen, then at him again, daring.

"Come on, darling, sign." She tries to keep her voice pleasant, but he hears the hate. So he grabs his pen and signs his life away. The one he had. It was anticlimactic as a sigh of relief is issued all around.

Sadie Stokes had walked into this room, and with a bounce in her step she had walked out Sadie Hargrove.

If she was more than ready to forget everything, then so was he.

x

"Hey," Greg says as he looks up from the book he's reading.

"I'm a free man," he says, trying to sound happy. For a split second Greg doesn't do anything, and he panics. Could Greg tell..? Before he could think about it anymore, Greg runs up to him and hugs him tightly. He laughs and realizes that this man was happier to see him than Sadie ever was. At that thought he lectures himself. Sadie is gone. Maybe not in spirit, and he's never gonna be able to listen to their "song" again, but that's okay. He smiles and Greg kisses him.

It's a dizzying effect and he knows that the past few years were worth it.

At the end of the day, he knows this is where he should be. Where he wants to be. It's not going to be exactly easy, falling back into place and with their jobs..

Little things are different now and little things will have to change, but it's gonna be worth it. With Greg he knows that he's never gonna not be happy. As cheesy as it sounds, and as cliche as it sounds, maybe this was meant to happen.

He knows for sure now, doubt is gone. He loves Greg.

That should be good enough.

(It is.)


End file.
